EVENT – OFNC LONDON Presents: Me and U: A Conversation

My brothers and sisters,

I am happy to announce that I will be amongst a team of panellists discussing all things relationships at the Overseas Fellowship of Nigerian Christians, London Branch!

The talk will feature a panel discussion that addresses topics such as:

Relationship ‘goals’

Love vs Respect

Sexuality and Christianity

Masculinity and Femininity

And many others!

 It is a free event, and you can obtain your tickets now! Donations are also welcome as stated on the Eventbrite link here!

Date: Sunday 18th February 2018

Location: 17 St Mary’s Church, Peckham, SE15 2EA!

Time: 3pm!

See you there!


Something Men (And Women) Should Know


Hello, my brothers and sisters.

In the month of September, I had attended my first #Pentalk Event for the first time and I was utterly amazed at what I heard. It was an extremely refreshing discussion and of course, I took a lot of notes!

I shared my notes on my Instagram story and thought I’d share them here for all, especially for my brothers out there!

I want to share something with my brothers in Christ and my brothers of mankind.
Despite what you think, the women are WELL aware of some of the issues of masculinity and with the difficulty of us men sharing our emotions.
Our inability to share our emotions can cause stress on the ladies. They worry and are concerned about whether you are emotionally available or not.
Now, guys, I get it. We do process emotions differently but don’t overgeneralise it. Some men are not quite emotional, some men are.

The issues why we don’t wanna share is because of:

The “man-up” stereotype;

 You are worried about how unmanly or soft she may perceive you to be if you did share;

A lack of trust.

One gentleman at the event shared that emotions are meant to be expressed, more for yourself than for your relationship. You must feel comfortable with expressing them to the woman you are with. If you cannot do this, then why are you with her?

Flipside: IF you are with someone who considers you unmanly and soft for expressing your emotions and is generally uninterested about your own issues and you find yourself playing an act or restricting yourself for the purposes of your relationship, then that’s not the lady you should be with.

Flipflipside: It is not your place to determine what your special lady can or can’t handle. This cannot be a reason why you cannot express yourself. Let her know and let her deal with it. She’s not a baby.

Both parties need to come together with a heart of understanding, not expectation.

It is very refreshing to see that women are aware and expressing their concerns regarding male emotions. All they want to see is a physical manifestation of how you are dealing with any difficult circumstances, EXCLUDING VIOLENCE. Simply stating how you feel gives her an idea of how you are.

She is not a mind reader and you are not a Stone Cold Rock (WWE fans will understand). You are a human being and entitled to express yourself without unjust judgment, fear or having your masculinity questioned. Beware of those looking for the benefits of a relationship without having to deal with the difficult aspects of it. Relationships will ALWAYS require work.

Finally and most importantly, a message from myself: Jesus died for you gents. That means you have value, but it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to manifest and increase in value (challenge yourself, set goals and work to achieve them, read, take courses, take a new degree, masters or different line of work, develop yourself, build a network, go elsewhere; do something!) because the truth is, no one else will do it for you. 

And you can do it, when you believe you can.

Tunde T. Amao

Relationships: Am I Ready?


Greetings my friends.

I’d like to send a special welcome to the young men and women who are reading this post.

There will come a time where every young person in this day and age will consider being in a relationship. I touched on this aspect in an earlier post and it’s one of the beautiful things about being a human being.

The question that most young people would ask themselves are, “Am I ready for a relationship?” or “How do I know that I’m ready for one?” Make no mistake my friend, relationships are hard work. They require a whole lot of effort, time, affection and emotional maturity. One need to be fulfilled as an individual before committing to another.

That being said, how do you know when you’re truly ready?

1. When you don’t need to be in one.

This is key. Deciding when to or feeling the need to be in a relationship is a clear indication that you’re not ready to be in one. Being single is one of the best times to be able to establish something for yourselves; something that you can call yours. When one is actively seeking for a relationship to satisfy a need, they are missing out on the time to build and to develop one’s mindset, emotional maturity and the tools needed to build long-lasting friendships. Once you are fulfilled and have achieved most of the goals you have made for yourselves and you are able to live life knowing that you can rely on yourself for your own upkeep and don’t need to be in a relationship, then at that point, you are ready.

2. When you have a firm knowledge of God’s standards for relationships.

Can you hold a relationship without standards to live by or follow? To have an effective and successful relationship, you need to have a solid understanding of the standards needed to create this. For this, you will need to go the One who established them in the first place; Jesus Christ. I will be writing a separate post on this point later. Read the Bible concerning the standards needed for relationships and make an effort to follow them and not to compromise on them. A relationship without the right foundational standards will always fall apart.

3. When you understand the benefits and the risks involved.

Relationships require a lot of investment, of emotions, time and money. It’s not necessarily about what you are investing, it’s about who you are investing it on.

Are you willing to spend time and not to be in a rush? Have you made enough effort to know the person in a responsible manner? Do they respect you? Have you thought about your emotional well-being in case things don’t go so well? Have you thought about what you may gain from a potential partner and what you may lose?

Relationships are not a joke. Real feelings are involved and many people become heavily invested in it. Make sure that you thought about where you are, where you’re heading and whether or not it is a right choice for you. Make an informed decision rather than one out of emotional impulse.

I found the book entitled Waiting and Dating: A Sensible Guide to a Fulfilling Love Relationship written by Dr Myles Munroe very helpful. I thoroughly enjoyed reading and learning from the guide and I’m sure that you will use it to help you discover whether you are truly ready for a relationship, and how to make it successful.

What do you think my friend? Let me know in the comment section below.

Thank you for reading. Stay blessed and remember, keep the faith.

Tunde T. Amao