This post is for the men, who know that there is something wrong and cannot place their finger on it. You want to love a woman, but there are challenges and struggles that you do not know about and you are often left heartbroken. Or you feel idle, and you KNOW that there is something more out there. You see others do it, but you don’t have that spark to push you forward. Or you’ve come to an awareness that something is not right at all.
Not only this is the case, but in the general viewpoint, there are huge concerns about the mental states, attitudes and behaviours of men whether they believe in Christ or not. And this has been picked up by the women in their discussions and expressions of frustration on social media.
I believe there is a landscape picture, one which displays the beauty when things are in the right places, but what I can see and have personally experienced once upon a time, is that there is an incomplete picture with missing jigsaw puzzles.
I’m on a personal quest to help men find the missing pieces so they can complete their pictures.
I was fortunate enough to have a question-answer discussion with a woman of God, a fellow award-winning writer and a person I have the pleasure to call my friend, who has seen the issues surrounding the men and has shared her personal view and also spoke on general viewpoints held by women which will help aid you grow into the man needed in today’s society, wherever you are.
Her name is Elizabeth T Peters, principle blogger of http://www.ElizabethTPeters.com! The discussion is below!
TTA: I honestly believe that in terms of relationship dynamics, something is amiss, and looking the missing pieces to help complete the picture between men and women.
What are the general female expectations a man must meet before entering a relationship and what are the common issues that women would like to avoid in their relationship with a guy?
ETP: The characteristics of a leader in every sphere, strong sense of self, ambitious with a clear sense of direction towards said ambitions. The issues are not fulfilling any of the above, having not achieved self-actualization and displaying signs of indecisiveness.
I know a lot of young men don’t have it altogether but it’s part of the expectations to have made a great effort towards having it together and that starts from knowing what it means to have it altogether and how to get there.
Too many guys focus on just looking like they have it altogether and up being a mess inside. They run after financial stability, which of course is important, without stabilizing their soul and spirit. Personally, I’ve met guys with everything in place literally everything but still suffer from self-esteem issues and it was painful to see.
So yes self-actualization in every realm is vital. Men are leaders and no matter how accomplished the woman is she expects a leader in her man. The more accomplished she is, the more she’ll expect.
TTA: I like this. I like to question expectations, so allow me to be a bit extra here. To grab deeper insight: are Men are leaders because of inherent design, as in designed to lead as men or because women expect men to be leaders?
ETP: Designed to lead! Adam as exhibit A.
TTA: In regards to what you mentioned, I guess this is a principle of life, not having everything together should drive a man to work to have it all together; before having a serious relationship with any lady.
From your perspective, what do you think is cause for males having low self-esteem?
ETP: I think it’s the same for any human, comparisons being a killer reason from what I’ve seen but others might have grown up in homes where derogatory terms were used loosely, past failures or any unreconciled internal turmoil.
TTA: And I’m safe to say that when it comes to platonic friendships, women don’t expect anything from a male friend and women would be uncomfortable if a male platonic friend is attempting to lead?
ETP: Yeah, there aren’t expectations from a male friend that would be any different from a female friend except of course knowledge/advice from a male perspective. Leading for example, in saying where they were going for lunch next is no biggie but I guess like in her life it’s an overstep because a woman only wants a leader when joined to the person. If she’s not with the person then that role is to be kept vacant.
TTA: I’m asking this because I personally think that some males can overstep friendship boundaries to do what wasn’t agreed or authorised.
ETP: Yes and this is where lines blur and expectations that weren’t agreed upon fall short.
TTA: Powerful. Again, many ladies are now voicing her concerns about the state of men, mindset, masculinity, love and purposeful relationships.
ETP: My brother and I are pretty close, plus I tend to keep close male friends, so we’re frank with each other about these things. Plus, I love psychology lol.
TTA: And what advice would you give a guy who was struggling with all the issues mentioned and doesn’t know how to move forward?
ETP: Pray, Get mentors, he may not be able to see all the characteristics sought in one so have more than one mentor. They don’t have to be direct either, could be a public speaker, blogger/vlogger. The truth is, we mould what we want from what we’re exposed to.
TTA: Thank you so much, Elizabeth!
ETP: Always welcome!
You can check out her award-winning blog here on www.ElizabethTPeters.com!