Seeking Compatibility: A Practical Approach



Hello, my brothers and sisters.

This serves as a follow-up post from The Real Relationship Series which provides the foundational knowledge of what a Godly relationship looks like. I strongly believe that once we grasp these concepts, more enriching relationships will blossom and, most importantly, God’s love will be seen by those who are in the world and they will be able to see God through the way man and woman relate with one another.

That being said, we know that searching for the ideal person can be a daunting task. It is even more awkward when the person one is seeking turns out to be a completely different person.

Here are some tips to help you find out whether you’re compatible. Firstly, let’s look at scripture:

Genesis 2: 18 (NIV) – The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Amos 3: 3 (KJV) – Can two walk together, except they be agreed?


Do you both believe in Jesus? Do they live for him? How well do they know about the faith? How much do they know about the bible? Do they respect His word? Do they follow it? Do they serve in Church? (ask yourselves these questions as well!) You are asking these questions to gauge their commitment to Jesus and their level of spiritual growth as well as your own.


Consider this analogy; A jigsaw puzzle has numerous pieces when fitted together creates a whole picture. How can you determine what jigsaw piece fits you when you don’t even know what piece you are?

I want you to take some time (in fact, a lot of time) to consider who you are. What do you like? What don’t you like? What makes you, you? What do you base your identity on? Is it in Christ, or on something else?


Following on from the above point, I recommend the 16 personalities test just to give you a gauge on what your personality is. Remember that this is only a gauge, not the gospel truth! I recommend obtaining the premium profile as it goes into detail on how to manage oneself and communicating with other personalities.


Now I’d like you to think about three (or more) words that describe who you are, or what you believe in that you are severely unapologetic about. These aspects are pretty much how you view the world, what you live by and governs how you go about daily tasks, relate to others and principles that you firmly believe in.

Why this important you ask? Well, if anyone treated your core values with contempt, you would most definitely feel a certain way.


The following points are not gendered specific but let us take some principles out of it:

Men, Adam was in God’s presence working, cultivating, protecting the garden of Eden and was in the position to receive His word, in short fulfilling his purpose. If you are not doing this, then don’t expect longevity in the relationship. There is a call to place God as your number one priority in your life and to be active in His business.

Ladies, as seen in Genesis 2: 22, God placed Adam under a deep sleep and created Eve out of his rib. Then He led her to Adam.

Check yourselves and test whether you are being led by God or by yourselves.


A difficult topic but one we have to discuss. I can only draw on my own experiences here, but this is no joke.

We have all received teachings and personal convictions in our walk with God. Bare in mind that when it comes to dating, there is only one road it leads to and that’s to marriage. A wise person once said that it is better to have a broken relationship than to have a difficult, unfruitful and stressful marriage.

I can only stress my opinion here, and it is very important to find out what they actually believe in and RECOGNISE and RESPECT their own viewpoints regarding scripture and Christ-centred living. Do you prefer one Bible translation or another? Can you debate on scripture without arguing? Can you challenge your own belief system as well or are you rigid in your thinking? If it makes you feel uncomfortable then what are you going to do about it?

I say this with caution and with the utmost respect for the God’s people, the body of Christ: You were not there when your potential partner was living in the world. You were not there when they caught the revelation of forgiveness and redemption that is in Jesus Christ. You were not there when they grew in faith and operated to serve Him. Yes, be careful, be very discerning, but be mindful.


Love is beautiful. I had learnt from an amAmericanouple who spoke about relationships in the Godly manner and it touched me. It is not easy, and it will not be easy if God is not involved from the get go. They said that relationships end wrong because they started wrong. A good example was used here which I will briefly explain:

We love football, pizza, music and sports etc. But would we die for it? We only love them because of how it makes us feel, not because of what it is.

Jesus showed us true love by dying for us. When it comes to love there is an element of dying for the other. With the love languages test, that gives one some indication as to how one can do that. You got to pay close attention to these areas, because of the lack thereof can have negative consequences. If you are unsure how to meet them, then make time to learn.

Disclaimer: I’ve had this post sitting in my drafts for a while and I thought it would be wise to share. Please let this aid you a guide. I’m not a relationship counsellor, I’m just a guy who collects and compiles information for the body of Christ if they wish to use it.

I pray this helps you on your journey to help you seek compatibility and a real relationship.

God bless!



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